Starting A Suicide Anonymous Group
This is how Suicide Anonymous got off the ground – the first Twelve –Step program for
people addicted to suicide. It has been, quite literally, a life-saver. The power of Suicide
Anonymous is not easy to describe; it has to be experienced.
Unlike religious organizations, Suicide Anonymous does not judge suicide as a sin;
members can share their stories without fearing condemnation. Unlike mental health
professionals, Suicide Anonymous has no obligation to commit suicidal people to psychiatric
hospitals. We can safely attend meetings without the fear of being “thrown in a mental
hospital”.
Those of us who were in on it from the beginning are still dumbfounded by its strength.
Many of us have years of experience with the Twelve Steps in other settings, but we found
a fresh and vital energy within Suicide Anonymous. Does the power come from ourselves
or our subject matter, or is it a gift of God? The answer really doesn't’t matter. For us, our
hope is in the meetings of Suicide Anonymous.
From the beginning, Suicide Anonymous agreed to adopt the traditions of Alcoholics
Anonymous, especially the principles of anonymity, non-professional status, no dues or
fees. (see 12 Traditions)
SA’s Resources and Tools
To counter the destructive consequences of suicidal ideation and behavior Suicide
Anonymous draws on four major resources:
• our willingness to set “bottom lines” for ourselves (see below) and to observe them
every day;
• our capacity to reach out for supportive fellowship within Suicide Anonymous;
• our reliance on the Twelve Step program to achieve sobriety; and
• our development of a relationship with a power greater than ourselves which can
guide and sustain us in recovery.
In over 11 years, Suicide Anonymous has developed five important tools for hope and
healing from the devastating effects of suicide addiction:
Discussion meetings: During our hour-long meetings, a volunteer chairperson presents
a topic and we share our experience or simply listen. We are encouraged to present our
own feelings and ideas instead of responding to others’ statements, in order to foster free
discussion without criticism. The last fifteen minutes are reserved for us to “get current”
about how we are dealing with suicide. Experience has shown that talking openly about
suicide with people who understand the problem lessens the shame and stigma, combats
isolation, and teaches us that it is safe to reach out for support in a crisis.
Phone lists: Exchanging phone numbers provides a valuable resource for dealing with
crises between meetings, especially late at night. Initially reluctant to bother others, we
learn to reach out to fellow members for support in a suicidal crisis. Members receiving
calls feel useful and learn how it feels to be on the receiving end of a suicidal crisis.
Sponsorship: New members pick existing members to guide them through crises and
through the Twelve Steps. Both people benefit enormously from the experience, and we
learn that we are not alone in our struggle with suicide addiction.
Speaker meetings: At regular intervals a member shares his or her life story and
experience with suicide addiction at a meeting open both to group members and to the
public. In sharing his or her story, the teller overcomes the shame and stigma of a life of
struggle with suicide. Listeners, meanwhile, have an opportunity to identify with the story,
break through denial, and start understanding the extent of their own struggle with suicide
addiction.
Bottom Lines: A bottom line is a line an individual member draws, saying “I will never do
this again.” Some examples: “I will not attempt suicide; I will call a group member before
acting on suicidal impulses.” “I will not stockpile drugs, weapons, ropes or any other tools
for suicide. I will call a group member if I feel the need to do so.” “I will not allow myself to
fantasize about the relief I believe suicide will give me: I will call for support.” “I will call for
support if I find myself starting to make a plan.” “I will call for support if I start to feel
trapped, angry or afraid.” Keeping our bottom line is what defines sobriety. We celebrate
sobriety by handing out colored chips marking the length of time that an individual has
managed to stick to his or her bottom line: White at the start, red after three months, blue
after six months; and then a new medallion on each anniversary.
What We’ve Learned
Those of us who have been actively involved in Suicide Anonymous from the beginning
have discovered several important things about ourselves and about our suicide
addiction.
First, denial runs deep within us: Many of us were shocked to learn that our suicide
addiction started much earlier in life than we first remembered, consumed far more energy
than we realized, and “hooked” us more powerfully than we initially admitted to ourselves
and others. Some of us attended numerous Suicide Anonymous meetings before our
denial lifted and our real stories began to emerge. At first, many of us could only see our
recent struggles with suicide, not the years of addiction. In time, as fragments of memory
became a whole in our minds, we realized that we were truly addicted to suicide.
Second, there is no cure: Most of us realize that there is no “magic-bullet cure” for our
addiction to suicide. Instead we will get a daily reprieve from it, contingent upon
maintenance of our spiritual condition. We have good days and we have bad days, and
some of us have progressed farther in recovery than others. But the good news is we have
reduced our suicidal preoccupation and behavior, and a few of us have even been free of
suicidal thoughts for some time. None of us, thankfully, has committed suicide, though
several of us have made attempts. Each of us who made an attempt, or came close to
suicide, returned to Suicide Anonymous, got honest about it and picked up a white chip.
We feel love and support within Suicide Anonymous and credit the program with saving our
lives.
Third, we need all the help we can get: Almost all of us discover that we need
professional help as well as Suicide Anonymous. Many of us need treatment for depression
or bipolar illness. We found professionals who understand mood disorders, addictions, and
psychological trauma. Professionals have aided our recovery, especially when they
support our involvement in Suicide Anonymous. They have arranged hospitalization when
we needed it. Therapists have been helpful to our recovery and allow us to explore the
roots of our suicide addiction, especially our trauma wounds. Suicide Anonymous meetings
often trigger memories and help us break through denial. We then need to process the
reemerging trauma with our therapists. Many therapists are grateful for the support of
Suicide Anonymous.
Fourth, we must be rigorously honest in real time: All of us learned that we must “get
honest” about each suicidal thought with someone the moment the thought occurs. This
someone can be a sponsor, a professional, or a group member. In addition, we found the
last fifteen minutes of our Suicide Anonymous meetings, our “getting current period”, is an
important place to unload our suicidal thoughts so they do not progress to plans or
attempts. Some of us learned from experience that bypassing this step leads to later
problems. Generally, we learn to call someone on the phone list immediately, usually our
sponsor or a trusted friend, later to update our therapist, and finally to get current at the
next Suicide Anonymous meeting. If we are open to suggestions offered to us, this takes
care of most suicidal thoughts. For tougher times, we learn to stay with each other for a
while for support and protection – a “buddy system” for suicide prevention. This step
promotes trust for both members and strengthens Suicide Anonymous.
Fifth, we must give it away to keep it: Most of us learn that helping others in Suicide
Anonymous helps us even more. At first we are “takers”, desperately trying to grab any
lifeline we can. Over time, however, we begin to watch others, to see their needs and to
reach out to them. At first we doubted that we had anything to offer others, but in time we
discovered that we have our own experiences to share as well as ears to listen. And the
more we share ourselves and listened to someone else, the more we heal.
Start Your Own!
Do suicidal thoughts cross your mind often? Does the idea of suicide seem to dominate
your life? Do you want what we have? Are you willing to go to any length to get it? Then
start your own Suicide Anonymous group. Get together with others in the same boat and
talk honestly about suicide. Listen to others; receive them, and let them receive you.
Share your story and your pain. We all have stories to tell.
How to Start Your Own Suicide Anonymous Group
Any meeting is better than no meeting. If two people meet for the purpose of recovering
from suicidal ideation and behavior, you have a Suicide Anonymous meeting. However,
starting a dependable SA group is essential. A regularly scheduled meeting provides a
place of safety and removes the isolation that feeds our suicide addiction. Commitment to a
regularly scheduled meeting connects us with other people and makes us whole again. By
sharing our experience, strength and hope with others like us, we are able to recover.
Frequently Asked Questions
1.) How do we connect with like-minded people interested in recovering from suicide
addiction? In Memphis we place fliers in local treatment centers and mental health facilities.
Newcomers are invited by members. Our web site (www.suicideanonymous.org) posts email
addresses to connect people with others in their area. Somehow, they come.
2.) Where should we hold a SA meeting? There are many “recovery friendly” facilities
willing to provide a meeting place. Feel free to ask any local facility that already hosts 12
step meetings. Local churches, synagogues, treatment facilities or libraries are good
places to start. The most important thing to consider when locating a facility for your
meeting is the comfort and safety the people will feel while there.
3.) When should we hold our meetings? In Memphis we have found that weekly
meetings on Monday and Thursday at 5:30 P.M. work well for us. Ultimately, the needs of
the group will dictate the answer to this question.
See the Twelve Traditions for more information. 12 Traditions
© 1996 by Suicide Anonymous. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from Suicide Anonymous.
This is how Suicide Anonymous got off the ground – the first Twelve –Step program for
people addicted to suicide. It has been, quite literally, a life-saver. The power of Suicide
Anonymous is not easy to describe; it has to be experienced.
Unlike religious organizations, Suicide Anonymous does not judge suicide as a sin;
members can share their stories without fearing condemnation. Unlike mental health
professionals, Suicide Anonymous has no obligation to commit suicidal people to psychiatric
hospitals. We can safely attend meetings without the fear of being “thrown in a mental
hospital”.
Those of us who were in on it from the beginning are still dumbfounded by its strength.
Many of us have years of experience with the Twelve Steps in other settings, but we found
a fresh and vital energy within Suicide Anonymous. Does the power come from ourselves
or our subject matter, or is it a gift of God? The answer really doesn't’t matter. For us, our
hope is in the meetings of Suicide Anonymous.
From the beginning, Suicide Anonymous agreed to adopt the traditions of Alcoholics
Anonymous, especially the principles of anonymity, non-professional status, no dues or
fees. (see 12 Traditions)
SA’s Resources and Tools
To counter the destructive consequences of suicidal ideation and behavior Suicide
Anonymous draws on four major resources:
• our willingness to set “bottom lines” for ourselves (see below) and to observe them
every day;
• our capacity to reach out for supportive fellowship within Suicide Anonymous;
• our reliance on the Twelve Step program to achieve sobriety; and
• our development of a relationship with a power greater than ourselves which can
guide and sustain us in recovery.
In over 11 years, Suicide Anonymous has developed five important tools for hope and
healing from the devastating effects of suicide addiction:
Discussion meetings: During our hour-long meetings, a volunteer chairperson presents
a topic and we share our experience or simply listen. We are encouraged to present our
own feelings and ideas instead of responding to others’ statements, in order to foster free
discussion without criticism. The last fifteen minutes are reserved for us to “get current”
about how we are dealing with suicide. Experience has shown that talking openly about
suicide with people who understand the problem lessens the shame and stigma, combats
isolation, and teaches us that it is safe to reach out for support in a crisis.
Phone lists: Exchanging phone numbers provides a valuable resource for dealing with
crises between meetings, especially late at night. Initially reluctant to bother others, we
learn to reach out to fellow members for support in a suicidal crisis. Members receiving
calls feel useful and learn how it feels to be on the receiving end of a suicidal crisis.
Sponsorship: New members pick existing members to guide them through crises and
through the Twelve Steps. Both people benefit enormously from the experience, and we
learn that we are not alone in our struggle with suicide addiction.
Speaker meetings: At regular intervals a member shares his or her life story and
experience with suicide addiction at a meeting open both to group members and to the
public. In sharing his or her story, the teller overcomes the shame and stigma of a life of
struggle with suicide. Listeners, meanwhile, have an opportunity to identify with the story,
break through denial, and start understanding the extent of their own struggle with suicide
addiction.
Bottom Lines: A bottom line is a line an individual member draws, saying “I will never do
this again.” Some examples: “I will not attempt suicide; I will call a group member before
acting on suicidal impulses.” “I will not stockpile drugs, weapons, ropes or any other tools
for suicide. I will call a group member if I feel the need to do so.” “I will not allow myself to
fantasize about the relief I believe suicide will give me: I will call for support.” “I will call for
support if I find myself starting to make a plan.” “I will call for support if I start to feel
trapped, angry or afraid.” Keeping our bottom line is what defines sobriety. We celebrate
sobriety by handing out colored chips marking the length of time that an individual has
managed to stick to his or her bottom line: White at the start, red after three months, blue
after six months; and then a new medallion on each anniversary.
What We’ve Learned
Those of us who have been actively involved in Suicide Anonymous from the beginning
have discovered several important things about ourselves and about our suicide
addiction.
First, denial runs deep within us: Many of us were shocked to learn that our suicide
addiction started much earlier in life than we first remembered, consumed far more energy
than we realized, and “hooked” us more powerfully than we initially admitted to ourselves
and others. Some of us attended numerous Suicide Anonymous meetings before our
denial lifted and our real stories began to emerge. At first, many of us could only see our
recent struggles with suicide, not the years of addiction. In time, as fragments of memory
became a whole in our minds, we realized that we were truly addicted to suicide.
Second, there is no cure: Most of us realize that there is no “magic-bullet cure” for our
addiction to suicide. Instead we will get a daily reprieve from it, contingent upon
maintenance of our spiritual condition. We have good days and we have bad days, and
some of us have progressed farther in recovery than others. But the good news is we have
reduced our suicidal preoccupation and behavior, and a few of us have even been free of
suicidal thoughts for some time. None of us, thankfully, has committed suicide, though
several of us have made attempts. Each of us who made an attempt, or came close to
suicide, returned to Suicide Anonymous, got honest about it and picked up a white chip.
We feel love and support within Suicide Anonymous and credit the program with saving our
lives.
Third, we need all the help we can get: Almost all of us discover that we need
professional help as well as Suicide Anonymous. Many of us need treatment for depression
or bipolar illness. We found professionals who understand mood disorders, addictions, and
psychological trauma. Professionals have aided our recovery, especially when they
support our involvement in Suicide Anonymous. They have arranged hospitalization when
we needed it. Therapists have been helpful to our recovery and allow us to explore the
roots of our suicide addiction, especially our trauma wounds. Suicide Anonymous meetings
often trigger memories and help us break through denial. We then need to process the
reemerging trauma with our therapists. Many therapists are grateful for the support of
Suicide Anonymous.
Fourth, we must be rigorously honest in real time: All of us learned that we must “get
honest” about each suicidal thought with someone the moment the thought occurs. This
someone can be a sponsor, a professional, or a group member. In addition, we found the
last fifteen minutes of our Suicide Anonymous meetings, our “getting current period”, is an
important place to unload our suicidal thoughts so they do not progress to plans or
attempts. Some of us learned from experience that bypassing this step leads to later
problems. Generally, we learn to call someone on the phone list immediately, usually our
sponsor or a trusted friend, later to update our therapist, and finally to get current at the
next Suicide Anonymous meeting. If we are open to suggestions offered to us, this takes
care of most suicidal thoughts. For tougher times, we learn to stay with each other for a
while for support and protection – a “buddy system” for suicide prevention. This step
promotes trust for both members and strengthens Suicide Anonymous.
Fifth, we must give it away to keep it: Most of us learn that helping others in Suicide
Anonymous helps us even more. At first we are “takers”, desperately trying to grab any
lifeline we can. Over time, however, we begin to watch others, to see their needs and to
reach out to them. At first we doubted that we had anything to offer others, but in time we
discovered that we have our own experiences to share as well as ears to listen. And the
more we share ourselves and listened to someone else, the more we heal.
Start Your Own!
Do suicidal thoughts cross your mind often? Does the idea of suicide seem to dominate
your life? Do you want what we have? Are you willing to go to any length to get it? Then
start your own Suicide Anonymous group. Get together with others in the same boat and
talk honestly about suicide. Listen to others; receive them, and let them receive you.
Share your story and your pain. We all have stories to tell.
How to Start Your Own Suicide Anonymous Group
Any meeting is better than no meeting. If two people meet for the purpose of recovering
from suicidal ideation and behavior, you have a Suicide Anonymous meeting. However,
starting a dependable SA group is essential. A regularly scheduled meeting provides a
place of safety and removes the isolation that feeds our suicide addiction. Commitment to a
regularly scheduled meeting connects us with other people and makes us whole again. By
sharing our experience, strength and hope with others like us, we are able to recover.
Frequently Asked Questions
1.) How do we connect with like-minded people interested in recovering from suicide
addiction? In Memphis we place fliers in local treatment centers and mental health facilities.
Newcomers are invited by members. Our web site (www.suicideanonymous.org) posts email
addresses to connect people with others in their area. Somehow, they come.
2.) Where should we hold a SA meeting? There are many “recovery friendly” facilities
willing to provide a meeting place. Feel free to ask any local facility that already hosts 12
step meetings. Local churches, synagogues, treatment facilities or libraries are good
places to start. The most important thing to consider when locating a facility for your
meeting is the comfort and safety the people will feel while there.
3.) When should we hold our meetings? In Memphis we have found that weekly
meetings on Monday and Thursday at 5:30 P.M. work well for us. Ultimately, the needs of
the group will dictate the answer to this question.
See the Twelve Traditions for more information. 12 Traditions
© 1996 by Suicide Anonymous. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from Suicide Anonymous.
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|